I understand it now. I understand why it was important for me to walk the unending, unchosen journey of barrenness. There have been a number of unchosen circumstances in my life, all fully out of my control. There is nothing I could have done to change the outcome, because outcomes and paths are directed by the Lord. There is nothing I did to deserve the unchosen, God is not punishing me. Jesus fully absorbed all of my sins past, present and future.
When I entered the valley of the shadow, He was there, just as he said he would be. He has been with me and will never leave me. And when another daughter of God finds herself on an unchosen path and enters abruptly into this valley of shadow, I will be there to welcome her and remind her the God of all comfort, the Man of Sorrows, and his Spirit are here too.
If one day she leaves this valley, I will celebrate the next step of her journey and should she ever return, I will be here because he has called me to remain. Should her path continue alongside mine, she will know she is not alone, as he helps me embody his hands and feet in her life.
Even if he doesn't...
When the cup doesn't pass...
I will, by his grace, still be standing on the rock, singing "He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord."
This vapor of a life is not all there is friend. There is more, SO much more. There is a bigger story, an unending glorious eternity awaiting us. "In his presence is fullness of joy," and his presence is just as much here in this valley of the shadow, as it is sitting at the right hand of the Father.
- Carrie Breedlove MS, LPC, EMDR Certified