Why I cried on my walk

Something brought me to tears on my walk yesterday... I saw ahead of me in the distance a little boy in a yellow orange shirt, walking with a man in a red shirt, who had a cute black and white dog on a leash. Here's what happened when time stood still for a few seconds. 👇

I had my headphones in listening to the newly released album, A Liturgy, and Legacy, The Songs of Rich Mullins. First song started up, "Everywhere I go I see you..." I'm looking around at the trees, the difference in leaves from tree to tree, the crushed soggy brown ones beneath my feet, a symbol of seasons changing.

I'm thinking about how Moses asked to see God and how God is Spirit, so we can't " see" him like we can see each other.

A twinge of sadness settled over my heart. My heart cried out, "God I want to see you too. I know your attributes are seen in what is made and yet, I long to see YOU. Without the metaphors and parables, just face to face. I long to know your voice so I'm not constantly questioning was that just my own thoughts, or was that you?"

Back to the street...the man, the boy and the dog began to pass me. I see the little boy look at me. The man mouthed something and gave the customary "walkers passing each other nod." I nodded back smiling slightly and mouthed something between 'Hi and Morning." It probably didn't come out as anything intelligible. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I notice the adorable dog, who seemed to be smiling at me too. My eyes shifted to the boy as they started to pass by. He looked at me with a serious curiosity and mouthed something. I took out my earbud, he was pulling against the man who had slightly passed, and he said again, almost urgently... "What's your name?" ....as if it was of utmost importance to know. I smiled, and replied, "My name is Carrie, what's your name?" He responded, but honestly, I was so caught up in the beautiful simplicity of the moment, I didn't really hear his answer.

The plesantries were over and I knew we all had to go about our way, though something told me the boy would have stayed to engage in a deep and lengthy discussion of curious questions and answers, so I said kindly, "Enjoy your walk." I turned, slid the earbud back in and immediately felt a hot tear cascading down my cheek.

It was an unexpected moment in time.

And then I did the only thing one would do who wanted to capture the essence of a sweet moment would do. I tried to nonchalantly capture a photo of them from a distance. 😁

(This photo is a rendition of the original which was much more grainy, blurry, off centered with that "neighbor is being weird trying to take sneaky pictures without being caught" vibes Haha!)

I don't tend to read strongly into moments like these, but I do deeply treasure the symbolic nature of them.

So many layers to this one...

👉Crying out to God and then feeling seen.

👉Knowing he is a God who sees.

👉He knows our name.

👉He is a God who is personal...

👉And yet how often we forget his name and his character.

👉Sometimes we can miss the moments of sitting at his feet, listening, learning, asking questions and receiving because we are rushing to do the next customary thing.

🙏So if you have been begging God to speak, know he has...through creation and through his Word!

And maybe today...

[pause]

before rushing off to the next customary thing.

If you do and you find something beautiful in that moment, take note of it, and maybe take an inconspicuous photo!

Verses for reflection:

"She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” -Hagar

Genesis 16:13

"But now, this is what the Lord says—

he who created you, Jacob,

he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1

"Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it." Revelation 2:17

"For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse." Romans 1:20